


Anniversary

by renlem



Series: Stjarnavetr [7]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alfheim, Anniversary, Biting, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fighting, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Riding, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5850985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renlem/pseuds/renlem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Stjarnavetr’s one hundredth anniversary rolls around and Stjarna is ecstatic—but Loki completely forgets and appeasing Stjarna may prove harder than he initially thought.</p><p>(This one shot takes place somewhere between Parts I and II.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anniversary

Loki

It was early when Stjarna woke me up.

I was lying on my stomach, sleeping peacefully, when she positioned herself behind me and began to trail light kisses over my face. When I cracked my eyes open, she smiled against my cheek. 

“Good morning, Loki,” she whispered.

I groaned something unintelligible and rolled onto my back. Stjarna quickly accommodated the new position and supported herself above me on her forearms, lying halfway on top of me. I put my hand on her back and raised my eyebrows when I felt that she was already dressed.

Stjarna was smiling widely and appeared to be terribly excited about something. I wondered what she was so happy about, but only managed a small smile. She leaned down, kissed me on the lips, and then turned her head to bury her face in my neck. 

“What are you so happy about?” I asked, sleepily curling a lock of her hair around my finger.

She did not answer me, but only giggled, and then rose up on her arms above me. “Come on, get dressed.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Are we going somewhere?”

“Just into the other room,” she laughed, kissing me on the lips, more deeply this time, and then pulling away and going to slide off the bed. I watched her disappear into the other room and smiled to myself, somewhat in confusion at her inexplicable excitement. 

But I did as she said. I ran my hands over my face to quickly refresh myself and then swung my legs over the side of the bed. I groped for my pants and tunic left discarded on the floor from the night previous, tugged them on, and then made my way into the next room.

Stjarna was standing by my table and next to her sat a wooden box.

I smiled at her apparently uncontainable eagerness as I came to stand next to her. “What is this?”

“Your gift,” Stjarna grinned.

I looked down at the box, ornate in design and long and flat, and lightly ran my fingertip along the edge before flipping the little silver latch and lifting the lid.

Upon a bed of black silk laid eight silver throwing knives. I lifted one out of the box and held it up to study it. They were slightly more compact than the ones I usually used, but that was not necessarily a bad thing. It had good balance and I very much liked the sophisticated, curving design etched into the bottom half. They were, from what I could see, incredibly well-formed and of superb quality. 

“Do you like them?” Stjarna asked hopefully, beaming at me.

I set the knife carefully back into the box and looked at her. “Yes, I do.”

Her smile widened. “I remember you said you’d grown bored of your current set. Will you use them?”

I laughed. “Yes, of course. Why would I not?”

As I pulled her into an embrace, she remarked, “I am glad for that.”

I smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “So what is the occasion?”

Stjarna let out a short laugh and pulled back to look at me, but when I raised my eyebrows and was silent, waiting for an answer, her smile slowly fell. 

“Did you forget?” she asked quietly, almost disbelievingly.

When I only stared at her, not knowing how to respond, her mouth nearly fell open.

“You did, you forgot…”

I hesitated. “Forgot what?”

“Our…” she gazed incredulously at me and gave a little shake of her head before pulling away. She sounded injured. “Our hundred years…”

And suddenly I remembered.

She had told me about it not even two weeks ago, but it had only seemed in passing to me. I had congratulated us, but otherwise not thought much of it, since anniversaries of that sort were not celebrated here in Asgard. But Stjarna had been thrilled, I remembered, expressing enthusiasm that the day of us having become a couple, of sorts, was coming up. I was surprised she had kept track all this time, for I certainly had not. All I knew was that we had been together for roughly a hundred years, which was undoubtedly an accomplishment for me. I had not known, though, that Stjarna would get me a gift because things of this sort were not really kept up with in Asgard and I wondered if in Vanaheim they celebrated this type of thing. Gleaning from Stjarna’s hurt expression, though, evidently they did and it was apparent I had just made a huge mistake. 

I faltered. “Oh…”

She only stared at me before whispering sadly, “How could you forget, Loki?”

“I…”

“I told you…”

“Yes, I know,” I said quickly, “but I did not think… I thought you were just commenting on the fact, I did not know you would…”

Stjarna pressed her lips together at my flimsy excuse, something she did when she was either angry or saddened and at the moment I could not tell which it was. She slowly looked down at the floor. 

“I suppose it does not matter,” she finally said, and then she looked back up at me and her voice was soft. “I should finish getting ready…”

She went past me, towards my bedchamber, and I stood there staring ahead. I probably should have stopped her, but I did not know what I would have said. My mind was blank and I kept asking myself how I could have fucked up so royally.

Ultimately I turned and followed her into my bedchamber. At first I did not see her and so went to the bath chamber and stood in the doorway. She was standing in front of my mirror, braiding a lock of her hair to pin back.

“Stjarna, I am sorry,” I said. “I am sorry I forgot.”

She did not look at me as she replied quietly, “It is alright.”

“No, I do not—”

“I said it is alright,” she interrupted. “I was mistaken to believe that you might remember.”

I went to retort, feeling indignation, but what she had said was essentially the truth. 

When I did not respond, she glanced at me and then let out a little sigh. “It is alright, Loki.”

“Are you sure?” I said tentatively, obviously sensing that everything was not alright.

“Yes. You should probably get dressed. You do not want to be late.” And then she turned away to look back at the mirror.

I stood there for another moment, debating on what to do. I would have apologized again, but in truth I had no excuse. Stjarna had told me about it and obviously expected me to reciprocate and I had not.

Finally, thinking that Stjarna did not wish to hear my inner musings in that moment, I turned around and went to my wardrobe near the bed to change into fresh clothes. Stjarna and I did not speak for the next half hour until it came time for us to depart.

The tension was palpable as I took four of the throwing knives out of the box on my table and tucked them into the inconspicuous pockets on my back by my waist where in combat I could easily and quickly reach them. 

“I will try these today,” I told Stjarna, right before she opened my door to leave.

She glanced at me and nodded. “I hope they perform well.”

“I am sure they will,” I answered with a smile, but Stjarna’s returned smile was not much of a smile. As I followed her out, I said, “Do you want me to take you to Mother’s chambers?” 

Even though this morning I was headed to the training yard and they were not close to each other, I felt now as if I had to make this up to Stjarna in any way possible, no matter how insignificant. 

“No, thank you.”

“Are you sure? It is no trouble—”

“No,” she said, a little more sharply. When she realized how curt she had been, she looked down at her hands and then back up at me. “If you escort me to the queen’s chambers, you will be late for training. Besides, I am perfectly capable of walking by myself.”

I stared at her for a long moment and she stared back.

“Very well,” I finally said. After a moment of hesitation, I took a step forward, put my hand on the side of her neck, and kissed her on the forehead. She did not pull away from me, much to my relief, and I ventured, “I will see you after dinner, then?”

I almost expected her to say no, she would be sleeping in her own rooms tonight—it would not be the first time—but eventually she gave a little nod and then turned and walked away.

She was definitely still angry with me. 

__

I did not train with Thor or any of the other Einherjar upon arriving at the training yard, but instead elected to train alone so I did not have to speak with anybody. 

I practiced with the knives Stjarna had given me on targets. I had not been wrong—they were excellently crafted and I found myself liking them more and more with each throw.

And the more I used them, the worse I felt.

I tried to excuse it in my mind and convince myself that Stjarna was overreacting, but always there was that prickling in the back of my mind that she wasn’t overreacting and that I was the one at fault. But how could it be my fault, I wondered? Stjarna could not possibly expect me to return the sentiment when such a thing was not commonplace in Asgard. Surely she could understand that? But I was not sure if she even knew and another part of me said it did not matter if she knew or not—the least I could have done was remembered the day, especially with her having reminded me not even two weeks ago.

After about an hour of this, Thor finally wandered over to see what I was doing.

“You’ve been over here all morning,” he remarked.

“So?” I said, trying to focus on the knife-riddled target and aim.

Suddenly, Thor reached out and snatched the knife right out of my hand. He quickly took a step back so I could not simply extend my arm to steal it back.

He studied the knife, oblivious to my glare. “Are these new?”

“Yes,” I snapped.

“You had new ones made?”

“No. Stjarna had them made for me.”

Thor smiled and handed the knife back to me. “That was kind of her.”

I shook my head and turned to face the target. “No. She is angry with me.”

Thor laughed. “That is a surprise.” 

When I pressed my lips together in annoyance, Thor attempted to stifle his laughter. “Sorry. But if your Vana is angry with you, why did she gift you a set of throwing knives?”

“She was not angry with me before, you idiot. She… I think she is angry because I did not also get her a gift.”

“For what?”

I hesitated. “Our one hundred years. Apparently it is today.”

Thor raised his eyebrows. “Oh. So… is that something they do in Vanaheim? Exchange gifts for that sort of thing?”

“I would assume so, with how she reacted. She was very upset with me.”

I did not mention that she had reminded me of it beforehand and still I had entirely forgotten about the whole thing. But with Thor’s previous comment, I suddenly felt validated. Why should I be expected to remember if it was not something widely done here, or at all?

“Well, it looks like you have some making up to do,” Thor chuckled, elbowing me in the side.

I gritted my teeth. “Yes.”

“It shouldn’t be that hard. Just get her into bed.”

I glanced at him. “Is that what you do when yours are angry? Just get them into bed?”

“Generally.”

I shook my head. I wished it could be so easy as to simply get Stjarna into bed, but I knew it would be harder than that.

“Stjarna will not let me touch her when she is upset with me.”

“Oh, then I don’t know. Get her a gift. That’s what she wants, isn’t it?”

“But what would I get her? Obviously this was a significant thing to her. A necklace won’t do.”

Thor shrugged. “I know not what to tell you, brother. You’re on your own for this one.”

I rolled my eyes. “Am I not always?”

Thor feigned offense, but then cocked his head thoughtfully. “Well… perhaps you could ask Mother. I am sure she would be willing to help. She’s a woman. She’ll know for sure.”

“Yes, thank you for that bit of stellar advice,” I responded dryly.

Thor grinned at me, impervious as always to my petulance. “I try to help when I can. And my congratulations on your hundred years, little brother.”

Before I could react, Thor wrapped his arm around my neck, pulled me to him, and with a loud smack kissed me on the side of the head. I quickly and angrily pushed him away, but he only laughed and I glared at him as he walked away.

__

As the next couple of hours passed, Thor’s suggestion of speaking to Mother became more and more appealing. I finally decided I would speak to her after my next lesson and sent a servant to inform her that I would wish to see her.

When the time came, I went to her chambers and was pleased to see that she had dismissed all of her women, including Stjarna, and that we had the room to ourselves. 

“Loki,” she said with a smile, lifting up to kiss me on the cheek. “I am pleased you decided to visit me today.”

“I actually have a problem,” I replied, settling into one of the chairs before her fireplace. “I was hoping you might be able to help me.”

Her smile widened. “I suspected as much.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You did?”

“Yes, Stjarnavetr did not seem herself today. What did you do?”

I balked at her immediately assuming Stjarna’s being out of sorts was due to me, but then again it was the truth. “Er… apparently today was our hundred years…”

Mother nodded. “Ah, yes. Stjarnavetr told me it was coming up a while ago.”

“She told you?”

“Yes.”

“Why would she do that?”

“She wished to commission for you a set of throwing knives, which I assume you received this morning? I am the one who commissioned the metalsmith for her. Did you like them?”

“Yes, I did, but I did not give Stjarna a gift. I forgot.”

Mother sighed. “I did expect that you might forget.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “Then why did you not remind me?”

“I did not think you would have done anything, anyway.”

I shook my head and said petulantly, “How was I to know? We do not do things like that here.”

“I know, Loki. I understand why you forgot. The practice of celebrating milestones in a relationship is not as common in Asgard as it is in Vanaheim. It is simply a difference in culture. I doubt Stjarnavetr is aware of this, however, and am sure she simply expected you to reciprocate. But I am still disappointed in you.”

“What? Why?”

“She did tell you, did she not? Though I said I understand why you forgot, I still think you should have remembered.”

I made a sound of indignation, but Mother cut me off.

“She paid for it with her own money, as well, which you and I both know she does not have much of. I am sure some of it was borrowed from her father and I offered to pay for the entire thing myself, but she was insistent that she pay the full amount.”

I glanced down at the table between us, wondering if she was trying to make me feel worse.

“And just between you and I, Loki,” she said, leaning forward slightly, “Stjarnavetr did not actually have enough for the commission, but I took it for her and paid the remaining difference from my own purse. So I am sure you can understand how this was fairly important to her.”

My eyes flickered up to hers, but she gazed unflinchingly at me.

Finally, I said, “Then what do you suggest I do?”

“For what?” Mother inquired.

“What should I do so that she is not angry with me anymore?”

And then, much to my surprise, Mother laughed. “Oh, Loki. Did you think I might be able to fix this between Stjarnavetr and yourself?”

I hesitated. “That is what Thor said.”

“Yes, he would say that,” she said, smiling as if amused. “But no, Loki, I cannot help you with this. Just give it a little time, I am sure you will come up with something. And Stjarnavetr loves you. She will forgive you. Eventually.”

I stared ungratefully at her. “So you will give me nothing?”

Mother only smiled at me.

I stood up. “Well, that was incredibly unhelpful.”

Mother laughed and bid me a good day as I left.

__

That night after dinner, I anxiously awaited Stjarna. I almost wondered if she would even come to my chambers, despite her saying she would this morning. I kept remembering instances in the past when she had been angry with me and she had not even come to see me and instead chosen to sleep in her own chambers. 

But my worries proved for naught and soon enough she arrived.

As she shut the door behind her, I stood up from where I had been sitting at the table. I smiled. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yes,” she replied absently. “And you?”

“Yes. I used the throwing knives you gave me. They performed brilliantly.”

She afforded me a half-smile. “I am glad for that.”

Another moment of silence.

“Are you tired?” Stjarna asked softly.

“Not particularly. Why? Did you want to sleep?”

She nodded.

Though somewhat dejected at how she already wished to retire—no doubt to avoid having too long of a conversation with me—I acceded wordlessly and we went into my bedchamber. As I stripped and slipped beneath the covers, I watched Stjarna retrieve her nightgown from her chest of things, undress, and then pull it over her head. She did not always wear her nightgown, but I figured she wore it tonight so as to hint to me that she did not want me to touch her.

She got into bed and then immediately turned over and faced away from me.

Not wanting to fall asleep like this, I reached out, wrapped one arm around her middle, and pulled her backwards towards me.

She stiffened slightly and warned, “Loki…”

“I only want to hold you,” I protested, pressing my face into her hair.

She slowly relaxed in my arms, then, and I counted that as a victory of sorts. After a few minutes of us just lying there, and I stroking her hand with my thumb, I placed a very light kiss to the back of her shoulder, and then another. 

But then Stjarna leaned forward and pulled away from me. “Stop it,” she whispered.

“Can I not kiss you?”

“No. I know what you are doing.”

I sighed. “Stjarna…”

But before I could get another word out, Stjarna pushed my arm away and resumed her previous position on the other side of the bed, nearer to the edge. 

Now I felt a flicker of irritation. “Stjarna. I am sorry.”

She did not say anything and I was somewhat amazed that she could still be so upset with me. 

Finally, I sighed in exasperation, “What do you want me to do?”

“You do not have to do anything, Loki,” she said quietly, but I could tell she was only saying that to make me be quiet and it inflamed me even more.

“Obviously I do,” I snapped, sitting up, but Stjarna did not even turn over to acknowledge me. “Look at me.”

Slowly she sat up and turned to look at me, her gaze hard.

“This is clearly not just going to go away,” I continued brusquely, not realizing how depreciating my voice was. “So what do you want me to do? Do you want a gift? I will get you a gift. What do you want?” 

Stjarna’s lips parted in surprise and I was about to once again demand what it was that she wanted, but she cut me off.

“How dare you, Loki!” she cried, her tone scathing. “Do you think that is why I am upset? Because you did not get me a gift?”

I faltered at her vehement reaction; I knew she was upset that I had forgotten the date itself, but I honestly had thought it might have been because I did not also get her a gift.

She shook her head, looking both amazed and hurt at the same time. “That is not why. How could you think that?”

I only stared at her, unsure of how to respond, and finally I said the first thing that came to my mind, which in hindsight was probably one of the worst things I could have said. “It is just… I do not understand why this is so important.” 

Stjarna slowly lowered her eyes. She picked absently at a loose thread near her hand. “You are right,” she finally murmured. “It was stupid.”

I shook my head. “I did not say that.” 

“But you obviously think it is stupid. I understand. Do not worry, Loki, I shall not make the same mistake again.”

I slowly closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling annoyance. “I did not say that, Stjarna.”

“But it is what you think,” she retorted.

“Why does it even matter?” I exclaimed, causing her to flinch. 

I knew I was being difficult and unreasonable, but Stjarna was angry at me for something that was not even widely practiced in Asgard and I was feeling particularly defensive of myself. I thought her the unreasonable one and I just wanted for this to be over, but as usual, I went about it the wrong way and made it even worse because I did not think before I spoke.

“Why can we not simply congratulate one another and move on? Why do we need to exchange gifts to mark the day? What kind of silly tradition is that anyway?”

Stjarna stared at me for a long, tense moment, and I could see her eyes fill with tears and then her chin trembled and she quickly looked down at her lap. 

I let out a breath, realizing I had just hurt her. “Stjarna…”

“My father did it for my mother for their hundred years and… and I wanted to do it with you because I thought you might like it, but I… I did not know…” she trailed off and then gave a little shake of her head. She whispered, “You’re right, Loki. It was silly. We are not like them, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” I ventured.

“They were married and we are not. I am only your mistress and I… I suppose it does not warrant acknowledgment…”

“Stop it,” I said suddenly, and she looked at me, her expression doleful. “That is not true.”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said,” I interrupted, moving closer to her, “but I spoke thoughtlessly. That is not true.”

I wrapped my arm around her middle and gently pushed at her. She fell onto her back, not resisting me as I thought she might, and I supported myself above her on my forearms and looked down at her. I lowered my head and gently kissed her on the lips. 

“I am sorry I said those things,” I said quietly. “It was inconsiderate of me. It is not silly.”

I kissed her again.

“I will make this up to you—”

“No, you do not have to…” she whispered unhappily.

“Yes, I do,” I insisted. “I want to. I should have remembered, I am sorry I did not. I do not want you to be angry with me, alright?”

She gave me a little nod as I put my hand on the side of her head and stroked her hair with my thumb.

“Do you still love me, then?” I teased, a tentative smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

Stjarna let out a small laugh and put her hand on my cheek. “Yes, I do.”

I kissed her again, more deeply this time, and then rolled off of her onto my side. I pulled her into my arms and she came willingly, much to my relief, and soon we fell into sleep.

__

The next morning I awoke before Stjarna. She lay on her back, head tilted towards me, and I studied her face in the dimness of the room. 

I thought of the night before and upon remembering how I had spoken to her, I felt a pang of regret. Even though the exchanging of gifts to mark such an occasion was not commonplace in Asgard, that was no excuse as to how I had been to her. I disliked speaking to Stjarna like that, and though it did not happen often, usually it was because I let my temper get the best of me and I could not keep myself from speaking harshly.

I still did not feel as if we were past this and wanted to do something for her that I knew she would like. And then suddenly, thinking on all of this, I got an idea. Feeling impish, I turned over and carefully slipped farther beneath the covers, moving slowly so as to not wake Stjarna. I paused when she shifted and then exhaled quietly in relief when she only made a soft sound and did not wake. I stayed still until I thought it was safe and then, grinning to myself, deftly placed myself between her legs. 

By now, with all my moving about, the covers had slipped down to around her waist and I could see her face. She was still asleep, but my smile grew, knowing she would not be asleep for long.

I had woken women up with my head between their legs before, and some had liked it and some had not. The first time I had done it to Stjarna, I had wondered which she was, but much to my pleasure she had not pushed me away.

And so my only worry now was whether or not she was still feeling somewhat unforgiving from the night before.

Still maintaining a slow and careful pace, I gently pushed her nightgown up until the front was gathered around her waist. I slipped my arms beneath her thighs and just as I lowered my head to kiss the inside of her bare leg, she awoke.

I heard her sleepily murmur my name and she lifted up on her arms and my eyes flickered up to meet hers.

I smiled. “Good morning.”

“Loki,” she breathed, but then I lowered my eyes and continued kissing her inner thigh, rubbing my nose and lips on her soft skin.

Stjarna stared at me for only another moment before wordlessly lying back down. I smiled—apparently she was not as angry as I thought, for she let me continue.

I unhurriedly kissed up and down her leg and below her belly, avoiding actually touching that part of her I knew she most wanted me to touch, but I liked teasing her like this—I loved it when she whimpered my name, loved it when she tangled her fingers in my hair and urged me to kiss her already. 

But at the moment, I wanted to take my time. I moved up a little and pressed a kiss to the spot below her belly and on the front of her hip. I bared my teeth and lightly bit her, and then when I heard her let out a small breath, I bit her again, harder this time. 

It was now when I felt her curl her fingers in my hair, for something to hold onto. I smiled against her and then slowly traced the curving indents my teeth had made in her soft skin with my tongue. I gently sucked and licked at it, delighting in the little sounds that would occasionally escape her lips.

Soon enough she was panting and I could smell her want hanging heavy and delicious in the air and could not hold myself back any longer.

I lowered my head and opened my mouth and lightly ran the tip of my tongue up her sex, catching only a tantalizing hint of her heady flavor in my mouth. But with just that movement, Stjarna let out an indolent little moan and immediately I did it again, but increased the pressure of my tongue, and lightly flicked it over that little nub at the top of her sex.

As I teased her, never letting myself press too hard, I let go of her thigh with one of my hands and ran it up her side and under her nightgown until I felt the swell of her breast. I cupped her breast and then felt her let go of my hair with one hand and move it to rest on top of mine, guiding or urging my movements, I could not tell.

I lightly brushed my thumb over her quickly hardening nipple and then teased it between my fingers. As I touched her, I sealed my lips around her swollen bud and smiled when I heard her little keen of pleasure and felt how she slightly arched her back and involuntarily squeezed her thighs on my head.

I went slowly, taking my time. Every so often I would shift spots between her legs, giving her a little rest so I could kiss and nip at the inside of her thighs before turning back to my main task.

All the while I was trying to ignore my own growing erection. I was attempting not to move my own hips, attempting not to seek any friction against my cock straining against the bed. Instead I tried to focus on the sounds Stjarna was making, how she squeezed my hand or occasionally bucked her hips. 

Soon I could sense Stjarna close to the edge. Caressing both of her breasts with my hands now, and leaving only my tongue free, I ran the flat of it up the entirety of her sex, collecting her sweet desire in my mouth, and then took her nub lightly between my teeth. She gasped as I gently, but unrelentingly, stroked it with my tongue inside my mouth. 

And then she cried out and arched hard off the bed, and I wished I could see her like that, back arched and toes curled and mouth wide open in that euphoric smile, but I was still running my tongue over that little pleasure point of hers, trying to draw out her ecstasy for as long as possible.

She cried my name out, then, but I did not stop using my tongue on her until she made a sound like a sob. When I finally let her go, I shifted so my hands were resting on the tops of her thighs once again. 

I looked up her body, watching the dramatic rise and fall of her chest, hearing her breaths coming fast and heavy. And then slowly her body unfurled and she relaxed back onto the bed, legs trembling. I placed a light kiss on the inside of her thigh and then rested my head there. I tapped my fingers on her leg and smiled.

“Am I forgiven?” I asked quietly. 

Stjarna made a small laughing sound and let her head fall to the side. Her fingers tiredly sought mine and I held them.

“Was that your apology?” she whispered breathlessly.

I turned my head to kiss the inside of her leg again and murmured, “A part of it.”

She laughed weakly. “Only a part of it? Is there more?”

“Perhaps,” I smirked, seeing her exhausted smile from here.

She tugged on my hand, urging me to get up. I rose up on my arms and settled next to her on the bed. As she rolled onto her side, I studied her face. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes bright, and her entire body still flushed with pleasure.

She lightly touched my chest. “Do you want me to…?”

I hesitated, realizing her meaning. She knew I was hard—she could feel it—but I had wanted this to be a sort of apology. I was not sure it would be exactly that anymore if I let her pleasure me as I had her.

“No,” I said, though I hated turning it down. “It will go away.”

Stjarna laughed, then, and looked up at me. “But I don’t want it to just go away…”

She pushed at me until I was on my back and she lifted her leg to slide over on top of me. Stjarna liked being on top and I was never one to argue.

“You did not put up much of a fight,” she observed with wry smile.

I only grinned back as I grabbed her nightgown and pushed it up. Stjarna helped me to pull it over her head before dropping it onto the bed next to us. She lifted up, reached between us, and guided me to the spot between her legs; I slowly closed my eyes and expulsed a heavy breath as she lowered herself onto me, slightly rolling her hips as she did so. 

Stjarna leaned forward to kiss me on the lips, but I put one hand on the side of her neck and lifted up to deepen the kiss and push my tongue past her teeth. I explored her mouth, our tongues moving languidly against each other, as I ran one hand over her back and pulled her closer to me.

In that moment I could not think of anything I loved more than the marvelous feeling of her on top of me like this, the feel of her breasts against my chest, her skin warm against mine, the tight, velvety feel of her around me.

Stjarna broke the kiss and lifted up to look down at me. She sucked on her lips and smiled just as she began moving back and forth on top of me. I groaned at the sensation and stared up at her face, at her now closed eyes and parted lips, and thought that there were few things more beautiful to me than that expression on her face, combined with the rhythmic sway of her long hair, the movement of her breasts with each thrust of her hips.

Unable to simply lie there, I began lifting my own hips to match Stjarna’s rhythm, and held tightly onto her upper thighs to help guide her movements. 

I had already been so aroused from before, I did not last long—I tried to hold off for as long as possible, but then there came a point when I could not anymore and once it began I could not stop it. My muscles froze and I dug my nails into the soft flesh of her thighs, my mind for those few delicious moments void of everything save for this blackness and roiling heat in my body.

When I came back down from my high, I slowly opened my eyes. Stjarna was still riding me, my cock still hard inside her. Her eyes were closed, brows furrowed almost as if she was in pain, and the mere sight of her like that pushed me even further along. I groaned and tilted my head back, breaths coming heavily, already on the verge yet again. 

And just as I came for the second time, Stjarna faltered in her movements and cried out; she squeezed her thighs on my sides and gripped the sheets on either side of me so hard that her hands shook. I could feel her insides clenching around me and I could not help but to groan at the feeling of her body encouraging me to give everything I had.

But before the waves of her release had even had a chance to fade, I reached between us into that slick heat where we were joined. I rubbed that little bud of hers and smiled when she moaned and her mouth fell open even wider. I continued caressing her, extending her release, and I could feel it renewed inside her and around me, and I stared up at her face, savoring her expression and those soft little whimpers every time I brought on another little wave.

And then finally when she looked on the verge of crying, I pulled my hand away and felt the dwindling tremors of her release easing their hold on me inside her. Slowly Stjarna opened her eyes and began panting, hardly able to catch her breath. She bent her arms, which were shaking, and I wrapped my own around her as she settled on top of me, skin flushed and damp with sweat.

I turned my face and lightly kissed the side of Stjarna’s head and smiled into her hair.

“Was that you accepting my apology?” I teased, somewhat breathlessly.

She laughed quietly and shifted on top of me. “Perhaps,” she murmured.

My smile grew, but I did not say anything else, and we lay there for a little while longer before rising to bathe and ready for the day.

I was incredibly pleased that Stjarna seemed much more affable towards me, but figured it had something to do with how she had woken up with my head between her thighs. But I was glad she was not as upset, though I knew I was not yet completely absolved.

I still had to make this up to her, but was not sure how to go about it.

Obviously jewelry or even a new dress would not do. I considered an outing of some sort, but thought that the countryside or city would not suffice. I took Stjarna out quite a bit, anyway, and realized I would need to do something special that I had never done before.

And then, only a couple of days later, it came to me.

I did not tell Stjarna I had come up with something, though I was not sure if she anticipated anything more. She had been very affectionate towards me since we had made love, but I did not want to risk it. 

It took me only one day to prepare and I did so in secret, spending most of the day of my next day off outside of the palace. I made a visit to Heimdall, which was not pleasant, to ask his permission to do this with Stjarna. I very much disliked asking his approval for anything, but it was for Stjarna and so I lowered myself to inquire of him. I had expected a confrontation of some sort, but he was surprisingly understanding and granted me his permission.

After everything was in order, I told Stjarna one morning to come to my chambers around late afternoon, right before dinner was to start. She came, punctual as always, and when I told her to get dressed, she smiled at me and inquired as to where we were going.

“You will see,” was my reply.

We dressed warmly, which at first she did not question since it had lately grown cooler outside, anyway. But when I told her to bundle up even more, she became especially curious. I still would not tell her, however, and only after she was wearing multiple layers and warmer boots did I allow us to leave.

I myself only wore a fur-lined cloak, but I was fairly tolerable of the cold and knew I would be warm enough.

I took Stjarna to the stables and we mounted my horse Bíta, who had been prepared as per instruction. We left the palace grounds and headed down to the city, but when we passed through and headed towards the outskirts, it soon became clear where we were going—at least to Stjarna.

“The forest?” she asked, tightening her arms around my middle.

I merely smiled.

As we rode, the sky grew black, making even more prominent the blanket of stars above us, and the air grew colder. Eventually we came to the tree line and entered the forest, leaving the outskirts of the city behind us. I guided Bíta through the trees for perhaps another half hour, having memorized the way, until we came to the base of a small, rocky, tree-covered hill.

“Here we are,” I announced, bringing Bíta to a halt.

Stjarna glanced around, her eyes adjusting to the poorly lit area, the only help from the moonlight managing to penetrate the leaves of the trees above us. “What is here?”

“You will see,” I said. I was somewhat surprised that she had not been relentlessly questioning me about what we were doing out here in the forest so close to nighttime.

I slid off the horse and helped Stjarna down. I did not tie Bíta up, for we would only be gone for an hour or so, and I knew he would not wander far and would come to me when I whistled for him upon our return.

I took Stjarna’s hand and led her around the corner of a rocky outcropping, which almost looked out of place here, until the dark mouth of a cave came into view.

Stjarna laughed. “Are we exploring?”

“Not quite,” I replied, pulling her into it. I bent down and picked up the torch I had left here a few days earlier. With a wave of my wrist it burst into flame and lit up the dimness of the cave.

Stjarna smiled and wordlessly followed me. I knew the cave was not terribly deep, but it was not the back of it I was intent on reaching. We walked on for perhaps another minute and could still see the entrance behind us, a dark blue, but by now we had reached the spot.

There was a crack in the wall, but it was difficult to see if you were not looking for it. But I knew of its location, having discovered it centuries ago when out here exploring with Thor.

“Here,” I said.

Stjarna stared warily at the crack, just barely large enough for a man to squeeze through.

Without another word, I took her hand and advised, “Do not let go.”

Suddenly she looked worried. “Is something going to happen?”

“Yes. Just keep walking. Do not stop.”

She nodded and I turned and slipped into the large stone crack with only a little resistance. It had been a long time since I had done this and I had worried a few days before if I would be too large to fit anymore, but my worries had been unfounded. But I knew Stjarna would have no trouble fitting through, being smaller than me.

Once on the other side, we could see a fairly straight, rocky path ahead. I led Stjarna onwards, never pausing to stop, and all that could be heard were our breaths as we walked. Perhaps a minute later, however, there was another sound.

It sounded like a light wind, and then we could feel a cool breeze on our faces seemingly from nowhere, and then the wind became louder. I glanced back at Stjarna, who looked worriedly at me. 

I squeezed her hand for reassurance and turned back around, never stopping, not worried in the least bit and not concerned that the torch had now flickered out. But it did not matter, for then suddenly we were not surrounded in black, but a brilliant array of pulsating colors—reds and blues and greens, flashing alongside us, and I heard Stjarna cry out in alarm.

There was something pulling at us, some invisible force, and then it felt as if our feet had left the ground and all of the air was pulled from our lungs, but just as soon as it had begun it ended and we were once again standing on a stone floor in complete darkness.

Stjarna was no longer only clutching onto my hand, but had her arms wrapped around my middle. She was breathing hard and shaking, but not yet from the freezing cold air that now enveloped us.

“Loki,” she breathed, “what is this?”

“Come on,” I urged, leading her farther ahead.

There was a slight curve in the rock wall and then a hint of light ahead. I smiled to myself, pleased that everything had gone as planned and I had timed it perfectly. We turned the rocky corner and came upon an opening just slightly shorter than me. I would have had to bend to get out, but it did not matter—we would not be leaving the cave.

Stjarna peeked around me and stared wide-eyed outside. While she studied the dark and frozen landscape, I turned away from her and located the pile of wood I had prepared earlier. I quickly started a fire and urged it higher and higher until I could feel the heat on my face.

Once that was done, I grabbed the pile of blankets I had left here a few days earlier, spread them on the flattest part of the cave against the wall, and then turned to look at Stjarna. She was still standing by the mouth of the cave, holding her cloak tightly around her to block out the cold. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

“Where are we?” Stjarna breathed, and I could see her breath in a cloud.

I smiled and turned my face to press my lips to her ear. “Alfheim.”

Stjarna quickly turned around and looked up at me, lips parted in surprise. “We are in Alfheim?”

“Yes. I know not exactly where, as I’ve not been far outside this cave, but it is high up somewhere in the mountains. There are no cities or villages nearby, I know.”

Stjarna turned around and I let go of her. She peered into the blackness of the cave, past the merrily crackling fire. “That was a portal?”

“Yes. I discovered it centuries ago when out exploring with Thor one day. I asked Heimdall afterwards where we had gone, because Thor also came with me, and he said I had found a portal to Alfheim. There are portals like this scattered about all the realms, connected to each other. Heimdall told me he had not known of this one’s existence until I found it.”

“How did he not know of it? He can see everything…”

“I know not,” I replied, “but after I found this one, I was determined to find more. I was quite adventurous when I was younger.”

Stjarna smiled at me. “And did you find anymore?”

“I did,” I said, somewhat proudly. 

“Where are they? And where do they lead?”

I laughed and kissed her forehead. “Let us leave that for another time.”

She turned back around and began once again studying the dismal scene outside. All around us was mostly grey and dark. You could tell the snow was deep, though, and just barely make out the many ledges and protruding rocks dotting the nearby mountainsides. Easier to see were both the nearby and distant outlines of peaks jutting up into the dusky blue sky, which seemed at the moment to be relatively free of clouds.

It was not currently too impressive a scene, being so dark, but I knew that within the hour the sky would lighten. 

“Come,” I said, pulling Stjarna away. “There is not much to look at yet. Give it a little while.”

I seated myself by the fire, which I had placed farther back into the cave and away from the worst of the cold pouring in through the mouth, and leaned up against the wall. Stjarna settled next to me and leaned into me and I wrapped an arm around her as she pulled one of the other blankets up over us.

“Are you cold?” I asked.

“Yes, but I am alright,” she responded, wrapping one arm around me beneath the blanket. “I can feel the fire.”

“Good.”

I was relieved we were not shivering and freezing and that Stjarna was not supremely uncomfortable, but just to be safe, beneath the blanket I had my seidr gathered in my palms, hoping that gave her some added warmth.

Stjarna looked up at me. “You set all of this up?”

“Yes. I actually told Heimdall I was bringing you here for a short while today, so he would not panic if he searched for me in Asgard and could not find me. I hope you appreciate this, Stjarna, because I had to practically beg him to let me do this without telling Father.”

“Well, you leaving the realm like this is very serious,” Stjarna remarked. 

“Yes, but I explained to him the circumstances and he relented,” I laughed. “I think he felt pity for me.”

“Pity?”

“I believe he felt sorry for me, since I was forced to explain to him why I was doing this.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“I told him I wanted to do something special for you, since I forgot our hundred years and you were angry with me.”

“Oh. So to make it up to me you brought me to a freezing little cave?”

“Er…”

“You could not have taken me to Nidavellir? Or Muspelheim?”

“Muspelheim?” I asked in surprise. 

“Yes. At least we would be warm there.”

I laughed loudly. “Perhaps, but we would also probably be ripped apart and eaten by a fire giant.”

“No,” Stjarna replied, attempting to bite back a laugh. “You could protect me.”

“Mmm, I don’t know how long I would be able to hold up against a fire giant.”

“I have faith in you,” she giggled, not doing a very good job of hiding her amusement. 

“Well, your faith would probably get me killed.”

Stjarna turned her face to laugh into my chest and said, once she had collected herself, “Yes, you are right. Perhaps a freezing little cave in Alfheim is best.” 

I smiled to myself and then glanced at the mouth of the cave. I was gauging the slowly changing light and waiting for something Stjarna did not know of. 

After a few minutes, Stjarna curled even closer to me and whispered, “Do you remember, Loki?”

I tilted my head to rest against the top of hers. “Remember what?”

“That night, a hundred years ago.”

I hesitated, not entirely sure from what moment Stjarna counted our relationship as beginning. Personally I could think of a few and did not wish to name one and be wrong and offend her.

Luckily, she took mercy on me. “On Midgard…”

“Oh,” I said quickly. “Yes.”

“It was cold.”

Now I smiled. I did remember that part, but we had managed to keep warm anyway. 

“I woke up and you were sitting on top of me,” I murmured, tightening my arm around Stjarna. “I thought I was dreaming.”

“I remember you said that.”

I shifted and tilted my head back against the stone wall, trying to recall, and fairly soon could remember snatches of it. But it would be difficult to completely forget that night; it had been the first time Stjarna and I had ever made love. Certainly there had been enough drama leading up to it, and for a short time afterwards as well, but eventually everything had fallen into place.

“We were in a little room,” Stjarna said quietly, “with just a table and a bed and there was one little candle and it was so cold…”

I could picture it now that she described it, but I was not focused on remembering the room we were in; instead I was imagining Stjarna sitting on top of me, pulling her dress off, allowing me to truly see her for the first time, letting me touch her and kiss her and make love to her.

I could already feel the beginnings of an erection, so I tried to think of something else. I could not imagine that Stjarna would be too eager to make love in a freezing cave.

And so a few minutes passed where nothing was said, and then Stjarna said my name. “Loki?”

“Hmm?”

“I was wondering when it was that you first realized you loved me?”

I looked down at her and she was smiling up at me.

“There had to have been a point…” she whispered.

I was quiet, for I could quite clearly remember the exact moment when I had realized, but I was hesitant to tell Stjarna. I did not wish to speak of that.

And so I lied. “I do not remember.”

“Oh,” she said, somewhat dejectedly.

“And what of you?” I inquired, wanting to detract the attention away from my answer. “When was it that you realized you were hopelessly in love with me?”

“I only remember that it was after we had made love.”

“That sounds about right,” I smirked. “I am such a good lover, after all, it was bound to happen…”

Stjarna laughed at my response, but did not say anything. 

I glanced once again towards the mouth of the cave and started when I saw that it had begun to lighten outside.

I roused Stjarna. “Come on.”

She looked up at me. “What?”

I chuckled and said, “You did not think I brought you halfway across the universe to see the inside of some drafty mountain cave and reminisce, did you?”

Stjarna let out a small laugh as I pulled her up and led her to the mouth of the cave. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms and cloak around her. She held onto my arms and gazed out at the frigid barrenness. It was not so dark now, for it was fast approaching sunrise. All was so eerily quiet and I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears.

“What is it?” Stjarna asked, peering outside curiously.

“You will see,” I whispered into her hair.

And not a minute later, from behind one of the distant blue peaks, there came a piercing ray of light. It was bright and warm, in such contrast to all this lonely white. It grew larger and larger, so slowly, and then from behind another mountain came that warm yellow light, cresting its peak. 

We watched in silence as the tawny Alfheim sunrise rose before our eyes, spilling this bright yellow warmth across the faces of the mountains, and then onto us. Even in this cold, I could feel the warmth on my face and I kissed Stjarna.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “It is so beautiful. And I feel so small.”

I grinned and kissed her again. 

By now Alfheim’s two suns were a little higher in the sky and the snow reflected the light and everything was bright and sparkling and nearly blinding. Stjarna shaded her eyes, continuing to study this vast, snowy expanse laid out before her.

We stood there for a long time, until Stjarna finally turned away. We retreated into the slightly warmer cave and back to the fire.

“Oh, Loki, that was beautiful,” Stjarna repeated, beaming. She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed me on the lips. “I would never have expected something like this.”

I shrugged. “I am full of surprises.” 

She laughed at that, but then said, “I am ready to go back, though… I am freezing.”

I smiled. “Very well.” 

I rolled the blankets up and gave them to Stjarna so I could hold the torch on our way back. I waved my hand, willing the fire on the ground to die, and then lit the torch. I took Stjarna’s hand, then, and we made our way to the back of the cave.

Once on the other side, and stepping out into the cool, Asgardian night air, I whistled for Bíta. Perhaps a minute later, he trotted into sight and we quickly packed up and mounted and were headed back to the palace. 

As we rode, Stjarna said, “Why have you never taken me there before?”

“I never thought about it,” I answered. “You cannot actually leave the cave and it was cold and… I just never thought of it.”

“You must take me out more,” she insisted, burying her face into my back and sighing. “I very much enjoyed that.”

I smiled to myself, but did not say anything. 

Upon reaching the palace, Stjarna and I went to my chambers. Dinner in the great hall had already ended and so I called for a hot meal to be brought to my rooms. We dined together and once the meal was done, we retired to my bedchamber.

Stjarna pulled her dress off, draped it over the back of one of my chairs, and fell gratefully into my bed. She patted the empty space next to her and smiled at me. “Come to bed.”

I quickly obliged her. After I had stripped and slipped beneath the covers, she moved to press against me. I enfolded her in my arms and she sighed contentedly. Even though we had been warm for some time now, the heat of our bare bodies against each other still felt wonderful. I pushed my leg up between hers and she draped her top leg over my hip.

As we lay there, with only the crackling of the fire in my fireplace to be heard, Stjarna whispered, “Thank you for taking me there, Loki. I very much liked it.”

I smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “You are welcome.” And then I paused. “So… am I forgiven?”

Stjarna laughed quietly. “I had already forgiven you, Loki. And not because you woke me up like that the other day.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You had?”

“I was angry with you,” she admitted, “but it was not worth it to be angry. I knew you were sorry, and besides, I do not like being upset with you.” 

I laughed loudly and pulled her even closer. “That is a surprising thing to hear, since it seems you are always upset with me.”

Stjarna looked offended. “That is not true.”

I did not say anything, but only grinned and kissed her on the lips before moving to trail kisses up and down her jaw. She put her hands on my arms and lifted her head for me as I lowered my face to kiss her collarbones.

“I have been thinking of that night on Midgard,” I whispered hotly. “I’ve been imagining you…”

“Have you?” she murmured with a smile. 

It was certainly no lie. Nearly the whole ride back to the palace, and the whole time we had been eating, I had been imagining making love to her.

“Did you want me?” Stjarna asked softly, then. “On Alfheim?”

“Yes…”

And then suddenly she smacked my arm and I looked up at her in surprise.

“You missed a fine opportunity, did you not?”

“What?”

“Now we cannot say that we’ve made love in three realms.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I did not think you would have wanted to…”

“Next time you should ask,” Stjarna said pertly, though I could see she was attempting to bite back a smile. “Now we’ll have to make another trip.”

I laughed and rolled her over so I was lying on top of her and my hips nestled comfortably between her thighs. 

I grinned as I placed a kiss on her parted lips. “Very well, darling…”


End file.
